Sans Cuddling Simulator

(This page is a work in progress.)

I am writing the contents of this page from within the simulation... It's nice and cozy here. Comfy, warm. Im supported and hugged from every side!!

Equipment

None of this would be possible without the two best purchases I have ever made, both from North American sleepytime comfort company Bearaby.

My Noodle Pillow

Bearaby calls it The Cuddler, but I like to call it my noodle because it's long and floppy like oversized spaghetti. Plus, I'm just not a fan of the term "body pillow." For some reason I get squeamish around any compound phrase beginning with "body"— body wash, bodysuit, etc.... Yeah, no, I don't like it.

My Weighted Blanket

Link and write about a bit about it

Two rather expensive objects, but considering how my sleep has improved, in my opinion they're priceless. I'm glad I splurged to get things this nice.

Standard Bedding

The rest is just things that I assume you already have around: sheets, a comforter, throw blankets, pillows, maybe a teddy bear.

Method

  1. Get the bed into position.

    Also, my bed is a day bed so it has a backing to it. If you don't have something like this, you'll want to have your bed pushed up against a wall on one of its long sides. This way, you can push yourself back into the pillow knowing that everything behind you is sturdy, stable, and strong.

    If you can't get your bed into this position, you can try laying on a couch instead. In my experience though, couches are too narrow and there won't be enough room for all the horizontal components of the cuddling simulator.

  2. Make the bed.

    My layers are, from bottom to top...

    1. Fluffy mattress pad
    2. Fitted sheet
    3. Two standard pillows, noodle pillow
    4. weighted blanket
    5. Top sheet
    6. Summer weight cotton comforter
    7. If needed: extra Cotton throw blanket on top to boost warmth

    Because of my fabric pickiness, all my sheets and pillowcases are 100% cotton. Its a texture I associate with Sans, too (his T shirt, and when I picture him in knitwear it's a cotton/ramie blend. Also i hate the slick adidas type polyester of athleisure, and LOATHE!!!!! the ratty feeling of basketball shorts, so in my daydreams he wears nice soft cotton sweatpants or flannels to bed) so this enhances the daydream in my opinion. If your husbando wears different fabrics like... idk silk or something? You could get bedding to match that!

    I like to put the weighted blanket at the innermost layer because that way I can kick off any amount of covers on top while still keeping the precious weight. In hot weather I sometimes sleep with just the weighted blankly and light top sheet, which covers up the gaps/holes in the weighted's knit for nice comfy coverage!

  3. Position the noodle
    1. Roll it so the zipper faces away from you and towards the wall
    2. On a Bearaby knitted cover, the zipper is closer to the end without the little B stamp. So the blank end should be on top, and the B end on the bottom.
    3. pull the top of noodle to the top of your head pillow.
    4. Fold it into a U shape. The B end is now facing up, and should be curled to the bottom of your face pillow

    4. Before you get in, you'll want to be fed, watered, and toileted. The simulation is very comfortable and it may be disheartening when you have to get out. Make sure you have plenty of water at your bedside to stay hydrated, and anything else you need within reach (tissues, lip balm, phone(?), socks, idk)

  4. Get in!!!!!
    1. Slide into the middle of the U with your back to the wall
    2. The bottom of the pillow goes between your legs, the B end curls at your chest
    3. Pull the covers over yourself. Get them over your shoulder at least, and all the way over your head if you want.
    4. Press yourself right back into the noodle. Let it cradle you
    5. Pull your accent pillow towards your body. The idea is to get the front of the noodle pressing and squeezing you as close and tight as possible

Adjustments

Now you just get comfy! Do whatever you want with your legs. I'm partial to the fetal position. You could maybe get a third pillow to put between your feet/calves for maximum comfort and support..... actually lemme try that........

After this the rest is mostly about allowing comfort to come to you. Taking deep breaths, relaxing your muscles, seeping into the bed, relishing the softness, weight, and warmth. Notice how you're being held and hugged from every direction, left and right, top and bottom, back and front. The mattress, weighted blanket, and noodle pillow are all cuddling you so tenderly!

When it comes to Sans, I like to think of him holding and petting me, nuzzling into my hair (in reality its my bonnet lol) talking to me gently. Whenever i adjust the accent pillow, pull it in for more tightness, that's him squeezing me. It's warm because he's warm.

I feel safe because he's protecting me. He's here and he won't leave. I can always come relax in his arms and get snuggles and comfort and calm.

Tips

  1. To get the best squish possible, lay on your shoulder/side so you are perfectly parallel to the noodle.

    Tilt your hips/pelvis forwards and your head/neck backwards to press as much of your torso into the pillow as possible. This is coming from someone with terrible posture à la screen addiction, so just adjust as needed...

  2. In general its always better to lean backwards/towards the noodle than forwards/away.

    After sleeping in the simulation, I often find myself leaning away from the noodle, which places me at an odd angle... and most importantly, takes me away from the cuddles!!! Like if you find your neck drifting away from the noodle, you'll end up uncomfy at an odd angle!

  3. Bulky clothes may get in the way, making folds and lumps that prevent the noodle from fully embracing you. Dress lightly, or not at all.
  4. If ever your neck or chest feels strained, the B end of the noodle could be pulled up too high. Shove it down a little and then pull it upwards from the A end, behind your head. You should feel less restricted.
  5. Make sure the covers are laying on top of the noodle, but not wrapped around the back.

    That creates an extra buffer between the noodle and the wall, which over time pushes you away from the wall altogether. You're going to "drift" no matter what, but doing it like this should slow down the process.

Accessories

For my purposes, the cuddling simulator is already perfect. But what if it could be even better?

Heartbeat

Sans is a skeleton monster so he probably doesn't have a heart, let alone one that beats, but the sound and sensation of a soft, steady heartbeat is nonetheless calming. I bought a Calmeroos stuffed cat with a heartbeat simulator, hoping to add an extra layer to my cuddle game.

Unfortunately, the heart beats too fast. It's designed with small animals in mind, so of course their resting heart rate is much, much faster than a human's. It's more like an active human heart rate, honestly. There are times when I like to think of Sans being active, heh, but we cuddle more often than we make love, so it's not ideal.

I opened up the plastic casing to see if I could change the speed, but the mechanism inside is ocomputerised, not mechanical. As of yet, I know nothing about computer chips, so I just let it be. As a result, I haven't done much with this little piece of tech.

If I had a heart that beat at the correct speed, then I would find a way to get it comfortably inside the noodle so it would beat at my back. It would need to stay in position in spite of any jostling. Also, because the Calmeroos is turned on with a switch, and doesn't turn off on its own with a timer, I'd have to be able to access it easily.

Tall orders that I'm kinda glad I dont have to deal with!

The most I have done is put it under my pillow, slightly above my ear, as if I'm resting my head on his chest. I do like to imagine him holding me like that, even though it's not at all like the spooning position provided by the cuddling simulator. It does break the immersion a bit, but usually at these times I just really want to hear his heartbeat, and so it doesn't matter.

Hands

As effective a simulation it is, it's missing some key components of a real hug: arms and hands. There are several ways I might approach their inclusion.

Gloves filled with... something

My first though is rice, because then it can be heated up in the microwave and turned into a heating pad. However, the heating up bead things they put inside professional warmers may be better suited. The problem with gloves is that they'd need to be very nice to touch, a fine, soft cotton knit, and also very large to accommodate my size difference obsession. I've never shopped for men's gloves before, so it's a little daunting.

I would also worry about the fillings staying in place. Should I sew the fingers closed after stuffing them? Who knows. Id also have to be careful not to over stuff it so that the fingers could still bend semi-realistically. The glove-hands would also need to be cleaned every once in a while, and I wouldn't want to undo all my modifications just to throw them in the wash. I guess in that case I could treat them like stuffed animals and do spot cleaning instead.

Or maybe I could have two layers of glove! One that actually holds the "something," and another that can be removed and washed at will. That sounds pretty practical, but I'll need to make sure the layers perfectly nest into each other, or can be comfortably secured without disturbing the simulation.

Skeleton Hands

I've seen two versions of this product: a medical sculpture, and a decorative toy.

The medical sculpture is a nice size, with great detailing, and I've even seen some Sansgirls holding hands with it haha. It is poseable— the fingers can bend!— but the wire between the fingers seems to prevent them from spreading or collapsing. It just seems kind of stiff to me. At its heart it really is a model to study from, not a toy to interact with.

The toy version, in contrast, is highly mobile. Seller video's tend to show it flopping around almost as if this boney hand has no bones of its own. The articulation of the joints is very impressive, honestly, and people who buy it tend to be highly satisfied. Then again, I doubt that any of the purchases were motivated by cuddles.

The main problem is that the inside of the hand is totally smooth and without detail. I assume this was done so it could lay flat on a variety of surfaces. In contrast the “top” is perfectly sculpted, with just the right amount of realism, but I won't be staring at it all the time. More often than not, it'll be hidden under blankets, so the feeling is more important than the looks. I might be able to overlook Sans's eerily flat hand touching me, but I'd rather wait for something more immersive.

In the end, I will probably end up working with a 3D Printer to modify the existing model of the articulated skeleton hand. Together we'll add details to the bottom side, adjust the proportions as needed, and at last I'll have a pair of Sans Hands to cuddle me!

Scent

I can't smell very much at all, so this part doesn't mean anything to me. However, I know that scents are a big part of a (normal) human life, with an effect on both comfort and attraction. It might enhance the simulation to diffuse essential oils around the room, or spray some perfume on the pillows, or light a candle before climbing into bed.

There is someone on Etsy selling candles that purportedly smell like Sans's hoodie. I wish that my nose worked so I might give it a whiff and be summarily transported to a world where I've made a nest out of his personal belongings.