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Daydreaming Skills

The core components of daydreams are imagination, visualisation, imagery, creativity, and immersion. In contrast, the inability/struggle to visualise/imagine is called aphantasia. Try using those keywords when doing your own research.

Culture and Lore

Someday I'd like to add some materials on female voluntary celibacy to this section, if I can find anything good.

Fun and Interesting

How to Connect

Here are some ideas for anyone wanting to connect with their husbando, whether they are new to the yoom or have been dreaming for years.

  1. Surround yourself with his image

    Make him your phone and computer wallpaper, "new tab" background picture, etc. Put pictures of him on your wall, your nightstand, on your desk, inside your wallet. The more regularly you see him, the more he will stick in your mind.

    If you don't have a lot of pictures of him, it is worth it to search for more, make some yourself, and request/commission artists with a style you like.

  2. Listen to music that reminds you of him

    The soundtrack from his game or show, music that you think he would like or has his same "aesthetic," playlists created by other fans. Play this in the background of your day, and especially when doing anything specifically related to him, like drawing, researching, or daydreaming.

    Over time, you will come to associate certain sounds and melodies with him, granting yourself direct access to his love with something as simple as music.

  3. Study his character

    Revisit his source material, read/watch commentary from others, do your own analysis. Take notes on his personality, preferences, speech patterns, relationships, fears, and motivations. Draw diagrams, make lists, quiz yourself— whatever helps you to learn.

    The more comprehensive your knowledge, the more immersive your daydreams. And just like any lover, you want to get to know him, inside and out. Play a romantic "20 questions" game back and forth to imagine him learning about you, too.

  4. Dedicate creations to him

    Drawings, sculptures, poetry, songs, fiction, playlists, collages, collections, essays, dialogues, remixes, decorations, meals, outfits, lists, shrines, crafts. It can be anything!

    It can even be something that one wouldn't immediately call "creative." Make a Yugioh deck for everyone in your harem, plays as your husbando in Animal Crossing, make a house where you can both live in The Sims.

    Do whatever's fun for you. I suggest starting in an area where you already have some skills and/or do not fear the failure that comes with learning something new.

  5. Obtain physical totems

    If you have the funds, you can buy some of his merchandise, like a keychain, an article of clothing that resembles his, accessories that he might gift to you, a doll or plush to represent him (but not necessarily IS him, i.e. a standard teddy bear could suffice), and more.

    The positive association that you make with the item is more important than the item itself. For example, you could write with a pen that reminds you of him. You've had the pen for years, but now that you think it "looks like him," just holding it gives you a fluffy feeling.

  6. Depend on him for support

    When you are angry, afraid, sad, lonely, tired... imagine what he would say to help you. Let him be your first defense against stress and suffering. With practice, just looking at his image or remembering he exists will instantly soothe you.

    For more intense emotions or complex problems, record your thoughts and feelings in writing and then add his response below. Taking on his character can shine a new perspective on your concerns, and being attentively supported by him will deepen your bond.

  7. Practise visualisation techniques

    Write out a scenario/describe a place. Then, close your eyes and try to imagine what you just wrote with the most detail you can. While you do this, make sure to visualise your hands and at least two things you can smell, touch or hear. Doing this before you sleep helps.

    Speaking of sleep: whenever you dream of him, write it down in as much detail as you can remember immediately after waking up. If you want to dream of him more often, learn about good sleep hygiene and lucid dreaming.

    There are more resources on visualisation and lucid dreaming linked above.

  8. Connect with others

    Your husbando may provide love and affection that real people don't/can't, but yooming is by definition a solitary activity and isolation kills. Keep up with the friends you already have. If you feel comfortable, open up to them about your interest in your husbando. They might think it's weird, but anyone should understand that this helps you without harming anyone.

    More potential connections can be found in your husbando's fandom, in hobby/craft groups for your dedicated creations, and, of course, other yumejoshi.

  9. And last but not least...

    Remember that he loves you ♥ He really does!

More Resources?

If you know of some resources that could go on this page, or you have a request for something you'd like to see/learn about, please send me an e-mail! Contact info can be found on my homepage.

I endeavour to share more resources about: love, loneliness, and importing products from Japan, not necessarily in that order.

Thanks for visiting!
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